


I've Got You

by SuperTeenLock_1723



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adopted Castiel (Supernatural), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bullied Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Has PTSD (Supernatural), Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel and gabriel are close, Castiel has Mild Depression, Castiel has never had a boyfriend, Castiel is gay, Cute, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, High School, Insecure Castiel (Supernatural), John is a good father, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Mary Lives, Multi, Mute Castiel (Supernatural), Mutual Pining, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Shy Castiel (Supernatural), Shy Dean (only with Cas), Sweet Dean Winchester, Tied into the PTSD, Top Dean Winchester, Virgin Castiel (Supernatural), Virgin Dean Winchester, mary is alive, mild depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:09:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperTeenLock_1723/pseuds/SuperTeenLock_1723
Summary: Castiel has been mute ever since he was three years old. This always made him an easy target for bullies. But what happens when a certain quarterback shows him what true love feels like? Is it enough to get Castiel talking again?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please, leave comments! I live for feedback :)

Castiel’s glasses fell to the ground as he was shoved into a locker. He whimpered at the sharp pain that shot through his back, lighting up his muscles and spreading until it felt like his skin was on fire. “Aw, look at that, gay boy _does_ speak.” Alistair glared at him, eyes filled with pure hatred as a slow grin formed on his face. Cas looked away, tears stung at his eyes and blurred his vision.

Last year some guy in homeroom had been convinced that Cas had been staring at him and spread a rumor that Cas was gay. While that statement was the truth, he wasn’t ready to come out. To this day, he still hasn’t confirmed the rumor. The thing that pissed him off the most though, was the fact that Cas hadn’t been staring at the douche. He was just spaced out.

But Castiel was used to being bullied. A traumatic childhood ended with him being mute long before he was adopted by Chuck and Anna. That has always made him an easy target. And it didn’t help that he was a huge nerd, glasses and all.

Other people just kept away from him because he was different, which automatically made him weird to everyone else. It was only the second day of Junior year and the physical assault has already started.

The bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. They finally let him down, only so they didn’t get caught, leaving him there in both his physical and emotional pain.

Castiel slowly slid down to the floor, eyes still watery. He roughly wiped them away with the back of his hand, chest tightening as he felt the throbbing bruise on his back. He picked his glasses off the floor, wiping them off before putting them back on his face. He knew as soon as Gabriel -his adopted brother- found out, he’d be pissed.

Even though Gabe wasn’t his biological brother, he still treated Cas as if he was. The thing he loved the most, though, was the fact that they didn’t care that he was mute. That they never tried to change him. They loved him the way he was, even learning and teaching him sign language so they could communicate better.

Castiel stood up, quickly making his way to the library. Cas was practically a genius, so his teachers let him sit in the library to do his classwork. The only day he was required to attend class was on the first day of school. Of course, he was always welcome if he had any questions.

He was so smart that he ended up skipping two grades, making him a fifteen-year-old junior. Anna has offered time and time again to let him graduate since he was smart enough. Or at least homeschool him. But Castiel always refused. The reason he always said no was because of a certain green-eyed, freckled-faced, bow-legged teenager who was also a junior.

Dean Winchester, the quarterback, the stupidly handsome seventeen year old he has had a crush on since the eighth grade.

Dean has never bullied him or listen to the rumors that were spread. But at the same time, Castiel was convinced that Dean didn’t even know that he existed outside of the rumors. Cas went to every single football game, hiding from everyone and just focusing on Dean as he led the team to victory.

After he cautiously walked into the library, breathing in the familiarity of the books, he had to resist the urge to not walk right back out. There, behind the checkout desk, stood Dean Winchester, smiling at Cas, face brighter than the sun.

~~

Dean was currently stacking books onto the shelves, glancing over at Castiel every few seconds. The boy seemed to be working on his classes, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes ever time he changed subjects.

Dean spent the last three years working hard to get his most important credits out of the way as soon as possible. He now took all online classes in the library, also working as the library aid. His inspiration for this may or may not have been a certain blue-eyed boy.

Dean knew that Cas did all of his classwork in the library, and he has since freshman year. Dea may be the popular quarterback, but Cas made Dean nervous. Every time he was near the boy, his heart rate picked up and he stuttered over his words like a thirteen-year-old asking out a girl -or boy- for the first time. Castiel was the only person Dean has ever been scared to talk to.

Dean, of course, knew about all the rumors spread about Cas. The most well-known one was that Castiel was ay. Dean could only hope that it was true. Crushing on a straight guy was always heartbreaking. But even if it is or is not true, Dean is pretty pissed at people for starting the rumors in the first place. It wouldn’t take a genius to look at Cas and notice they bother him.

The rumor that pissed him off the most, though, was that Cas was faking being a mute. Dean has known the boy since the eighth grade after he skipped sixth and seventh grade, joining Dean’s algebra and English class. All of these years later, Dean has never seen or heard Cas speak.

Dean always fantasized about what Cas’ voice sounded like, but he would still be happy with Cas even if he never got to hear him speak.

Dean has liked Castiel ever since freshman year, and his feelings have only grown since then.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he noticed Castiel put his head down onto the table. Dean took a deep breath, calming his nerves. He abandoned the cart full of books in favor of walking over to Cas, taking the seat across from him.

“Hey.” He said, beaming at Cas.

~~

Castiel startled when he heard the chair across from him move.

Confused as to who would sit by him, he looked up, breath hitching when he saw that it was Dean Winchester occupating the previously empty chair.

When he said hi, Castiel thought he was going to combust right there in the library.


	2. Chapter 2

Soon after that first encounter, Dean and Cas were becoming great friends, talking every day. Well, Dean talked, Cas would usually write.

Dean was secretly learning sign language for Cas, waiting to tell him about it until he was fluent. They’ve only been friends for about a month, but Dean could already tell Cas was the best friend he’s ever had. The blue-eyed nerd had a dry sense of humor, and Dean found himself cracking up every time Cas made a joke. 

But with this newfound happiness came pain. Castiel was absolutely adorable, especially in the morning with his tired eyes and cute yawns. Dean found it increasingly hard to keep his hands to himself. Even Cas _was_ gay, there was no way in hell he would return Dean’s feelings. Life just didn’t work that way.

They were currently sitting at their regular table in the library, Dean laughing loudly, even though it was supposed to be a quiet zone. Cas was sitting there, looking proud since he was the one who caused the whole body laughter.

The day Dean first greeted him and acknowledged his existence, Cas was a little afraid to respond, worried that Dean was just there to mock him. But Dean was persistently sweet and patient, soon putting Cas’ fears to rest.

Dean finally calmed down, wiping tears from his eyes, which Cas thought was an over-exaggeration, but cute nonetheless.

“So… my football game is tonight… you planning to come?” Cas, for the life of him, could not fathom why Dean appeared to be so nervous when he asked about Cas coming to the game. Of course, he’d go. But why did Dean seem to think that he wouldn’t?

But as nervous as he looked -and sounded- his candy apple green eyes betrayed him, looking bright and eager as Dean patiently waited for a response.

‘Of course, Dean. I always come to your games.’ Dean was blushing when he read the writing on the notebook page, and if he noticed Castiel was too, he didn’t say anything.

And when Dean pointed Cas with a beam that could challenge the brightness of the sun? Well, Cas thought he was going to go blind just looking at it. 

The conversation soon drifted away from the game and more towards trivial things that didn’t mean anything, but at the same time meant everything. And too soon for Castiel’s liking, the bell rang, signaling the end of school, and most disappointedly, the end of their conversation.

When Cas got home, Gabriel immediately took notice of the dopey smile Cas still had on his face and started pestering the poor child. 

‘You were talking to Dean again, weren’t you?’ He signed, face suggestive when he fingerspelled Dean’s name. Cas rolled his eyes, thankful that sign language was easy to ignore as he started to walk away with a little huff. But no matter how hard he tried to pretend that he was annoyed, he couldn’t help the little smile at Gabriel’s laughter and the sound of Anna’s voice telling Gabe to leave his little brother alone from inside the kitchen.

~~

Castiel could feel a pounding in his head from the screams of his peers. But Dean was more than worth it, so Cas ignored it as best he could, deciding to just focus on his new friend. Usually, when Cas attended the football games, he’d fantasize about Dean sweaty and pumped full of adrenaline from winning, grabbing Cas like his property -that kink was a whole can of worms he wasn’t ready to open yet- and kissing him, completely dominating his mouth.

Of course, he knew that would never actually happen in the real world, but it was nice to imagine. Dean was amazing and perfect and Cas? He was just… Cas.

But, again, it soothed him to pretend like it will happen eventually. 

~~

Dean fucking beamed when he scored the winning touchdown, even though he was gross and sweaty in his uniform. Endorphins pumped through him, wiping away any and all pain and exhaustion. He felt great, riding out his body’s natural high as dopamine rushed through his veins, neurotransmitters firing like crazy.

He turned to face the crowd, almost not registering the loud cheering as he scanned all the faces, looking for a specific blue eyed teen. He almost gave up, high fading a little, until he noticed a familiar figure standing next to the bleachers in a way that he was obscured from view from everyone else. 

Cas was clapping with a smile and Dean felt a warmth surge through him at the proud look on Cas’ face. Even from the distance, Dean could see his expression perfectly. 

~~

After the game was officially over and he had showered and changed as quickly as possible, Dean went to find Castiel, hoping he didn’t already leave.

He found the boy in the same spot from earlier, except now it didn’t seem like he was hiding. When Cas noticed Dean approaching, he held out his phone, grin placed high and big on his face. Typed in the memos was ‘Congratulations, Dean. You did great. I’m proud of you.’ Dean’s face flushed as Cas’ grin only grew. Somehow that little message meant more to Dean than winning the game. 

His mouth began moving before his brain caught up. “What do you think about spending the weekend at my place?” 

Well, at least now they were both blushing.

~~

After getting over his initial shock, Cas texted his mom about spending the weekend with the Winchesters. Anna ultimately said yes, obviously happy Castiel had a friend he could spend time with. As sad as it was, that was rare.

In what seemed like a heartbeat, they were in Dean’s impala, driving down the smooth roads. Cas found the rumble of the engine soothing. It even started to quell down his inner turmoils.

He learned that Dean’s family did indeed come, they just didn’t stay to wait for him to change. He preferred to take his baby -Cas smiled when he heard Dean’s fond nickname of the car- anyway, and Sam -Cas loved the proud tone in Dean’s voice whenever he talked about his brother- always said that Dean was ‘as slow as a girl’. Cas wasn’t sure he knew what that meant. 

~~

“This is it.” Dean smiled, though his eyes hid some of his insecurities. Cas may not have picked up on it, but Dean wanted his approval. 

Cas got out, and Dean almost cried because Cas was so gentle when he closed Baby’s door. 

_Holy shit. I think I met my soulmate._

Cas took in the nice house with a little smile. It was a stereotypical, white picket fence, suburban house. It was two stories with a basement, four bedrooms, and a really nice backyard. Cas’ favorite part was the flower beds. They must attract a lot of bees. 

“Welcome to my humble abode.” He teased, mocking what he called ‘chick flick’ movies. Cas wasn’t certain what movies that consisted of.

He rolled his eyes, smiling as he playfully shoved the star quarterback. 

It was at that moment a woman with blonde hair opened the door, a fond smile on her face.

“Dean, you’re not going to keep him outside all night, are you?” She asked, smile growing, full of adoration and love for her son. Dean could tell where Dean got his gorgeous smile from. When he noticed the elder teens blush and sweaty hands, he idly wondered if this was a good idea.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it may take me longer to upload chapters. First I write it in a notebook -mainly when I'm in school supposed to be doing stuff-, then transfer it onto google docs using my school Chromebook, before finally copying and pasting from my phone into both WattPad and here. Before publishing it I look for '/'s so I can put the words in italics. It's a very long process :)  
But I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The weekend wasn’t as bad as Cas had originally thought it would be. It was quite enjoyable. Mary and John were very nice while Sam was funny and entertaining. Dean was adorable as always.

But on Friday night there was some awkwardness. Cas had asked to borrow some night clothes from Dean. The older boy almost looked like he was going to refuse, but in the end, he agreed. When Castiel was changed, he almost suffocated from the smell of pure _Dean_. Speaking of Dean, when the teen caught sight of Cas wearing his clothes, Cas could have sworn he saw a flash of hunger go through those gorgeous green eyes. But it was gone just as fast as it came, so Castiel convinced himself that it was just his imagination. 

Dean then, very shyly, offered his bed to Cas. Those green eyes were refusing to meet Cas’ blue ones, and Cas was pretty sure Dean was blushing as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Castiel agreed, just as shy, and climbed under the covers. Dean decided to sleep on floor at the foot of the bed. 

Sleeping in Dean’s bed was torture. Sweet, sweet torture. 

The rest of the weekend, though, was filled with movies, games, and laughter. And maybe some stolen glances on Cas’ part.

But now the laughter was over, pain taking its place.

Cas was currently being pinned against the brick walls outside the school by Alistair and his ‘followers’, as they liked to be called.

“My boy Metatron here tells me that he caught you staring at him in the locker room.” Alistair looked disgusted, exactly how Cas felt at that. But, he was still already starting to tear up. Lisa was sure to already be spreading rumors like a wildfire. Oh god… what if Dean heard? What if he believed it and stopped talking to him?

The thought sent a dull ache through his chest and he felt like sobbing. 

Alistair smiled darkly, obviously pleased with how much he was hurting Cas. His smile widened as he turned to Metatron, acting as if Cas wasn’t even there as they discussed. “You’re the victim of this disgusting perv, how do you wanna deal with it?”

Metatron seemed to consider before grinning. Without a verbal response, he inched closer to Azazel who was now holding Cas up, taking Alistair’s previous place. Still not saying anything, he punched Cas in the gut. He groaned at the sharp pain shooting through his abdomen and tried to double over, but Alistair moved forward, helping Azazel keep him upright. 

The physical assault continued until the bell rang, signaling the start of school. Cas was roughly dropped to the ground, making the pain worse. 

When he finally limped his way into the library, his eye had turned purple, his bottom lip was swollen and busted open, caked in dried blood, nose broken and bloody, cheek cut, also covered in blood, and his entire torso was bruised, ribs swollen. 

Dean dropped the books in his hands, running over to the bloody and broken teen. “Are you okay?” He asked, eyes wide and filled with worry. Cas shook his head -he was barely even able to with the pain fogging his brain-, tears falling freely now. He hated burdening Dean with his problems. 

“Okay, it’s okay.” He promised, tenderly stroking his unhurt cheek. “Do you want me to take you home?”

Cas almost said yes, because all he wanted was to go home, but then he thought of the fact that he would not only be burdening Dean today, he’d also be burdening his family. So, instead of agreeing like he desperately wanted to, he shook his head no. 

Dean seemed to at least partially understand and didn’t try to pressure him into going home. Cas thought that would be it, that Dean would leave him alone until said teen spoke again. “Okay, buddy, come on.” 

Most of the time being mute was harder than it seemed when trying to communicate with people that weren’t his family. Either people didn’t want to waste time waiting for Cas to write, or if that option wasn’t available, nobody could understand what he was trying to say by pointing, using gestures, and trying various facial expressions. But when he was with Dean, communication was the easiest. He was always patient and could read his facial expressions as if he was a book. The latter was what was helpful at the moment. 

“I’m taking you to my place to clean you up.” He whispered, clearly able to read Cas’ confusion easily. 

Dean was pretty damn good at patching people up because Sam was always getting his ass kicked in soccer, though his injuries were never _this _bad. Usually a few cuts and bruises, the oddball bloody nose here and there.

“And then afterwards you can tell me how much of a badass you were when this happened. I bet you sent all the douches to the hospital.” 

Dean’s words had the intended effect because when he looked down, Cas had a small smile on his face. 

Even distracted, Cas didn’t think being alone with Dean was a very good idea. 

_Somebody shoot me now_, he silently prayed. 

~~

The house seemed different with nobody else home. It seemed lifeless.

Dean didn’t seem to notice how tense Cas was, and if did, he probably just chalked it up to Cas being in pain.

Dean led Cas into his bedroom’s en-suite bathroom, and Cas briefly wondered if the bathroom was part of the original floor plan. Dean had told him that his father was a carpenter who also specialized in home repairs.

“Sit on the toilet seat,” Dean instructed gently, and even if Cas wanted to disobey the order, he wouldn’t be able to with how sweet Dean was being. 

Cas flinched back when Dean touched a wet cloth to his cheek, wincing a little. Dean quickly apologised before cupping Cas’ jaw, doing it again, more gentle this time. 

Dean made the process as quick and painless as possible before carrying a drowsy Cas bridal style to his bed, tucking him in and everything. 

Dean made the boy take a couple of painkillers before letting him go to sleep. 

~~

Dean couldn’t help himself as he sat in the chair that was by his bed, watching over the Cas as he slept peacefully. A stark contrast to how Cas had looked when Dean first saw him. 

He felt guilt pool in the pit of his stomach for letting this happen to the boy, and he swore on his own life that he’d never let anyone hurt Cas ever again. And if someone did, he’d cut off their dick -or mutilate their vagina if it was a woman- and let the sorry fucker slowly bleed out to death, gradually adding more wounds as the hours ticked by. 

~~

When Cas came to again, his head was pounding, and his torso was throbbing. 

Looking around the first thing he noticed was a sleeping Dean hunched over in a chair next to the bed, and a glass of water with some painkillers on the nightstand. He idly wondered what it would be like to have Dean asleep next to him in the same bed, limbs intertwined, bodies naked after some languid morning sex. The morning sun filtered through the window, laying it’s warm, golden finger on Dean, illuminating his beautiful freckles, eyes bright with happiness as he smiled intimately at Cas. 

He was pulled back into the depths of sleep before he could dwell on the thought for too long, though. 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I hope the contents of this chapter make up for it, though.

It wasn’t a life-changing realisation like portrayed in books and movies. In fact, Castiel was sure he, on some level, already knew.

Fall was quickly transitioning into winter, and instead of being in school, Cas was laying on the couch, Gabriel positioned comfortably on Cas’ legs as he slowly healed from his injuries. 

‘Tell me about him,’ Gabe signed, wanting to know about the boy who has won his little brother’s heart. 

‘He’s sweet,’ Cas got this far away look on his face and Gabriel anxiously waited for him to continue. 

‘When he teases me, his eyes get this mischevious glint in them, always ratting him out. Speaking of his eyes, they are so green, so beautiful. They have these little specks of gold and brown near the irises. When he talks about his brother, Sam, his eyes fill with adoration and love, voice full of pride. He even puffs his chest out a bit. When something’s on his mind, he bites his lip and jiggles his left leg. But when he’s excited, he jiggles his right. When he’s annoyed, he runs his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands slightly. When he wakes up, he drinks two cups of coffee before even thinking about people. He sings quietly when he thinks nobody is listening. He originally joined football because he thought it would make his dad proud, but found he loved the sport.’

Cas signed with passion; purpose. And Gabriel idly wondered if he’d ever love someone half as much as Cas loves Dean. 

‘And it only took me two months to fall in love,’ It felt weird at first, admitting out loud that he was in love with Dean. It meant his feelings were real. But he knew he had never spoken -or, signed if you care about technicalities- a truer sentence. 

Gabriel watched him for a few moments before asking a follow-up.

‘Why don’t you ask him out then?’ Cas seemed to think about it for a minute before answering, signing a bit slow.

‘He’s a popular jock and I’m just a low-life nerd. Plus, I don’t even know if he likes guys. And with all of the rumours going around, I really don’t see why he’d want to date me.’

Gabriel scoffed, rolling his eyes. ‘Cas, come on. He’d be the luckiest man on earth to go on a date with you. And if the rumours haven’t scared him off yet, then they won’t if you ask him out. He obviously already knows about them. And yet, he’s still your friend. Hell, he defended you. Protected you. I think he might already have feelings for you.’ He pointed out, But Cas just shook his head. 

‘Okay,’ He relented, but then he smirked. ‘But, at least invite him over? Mom has been dying to meet him. Plus, he probably misses you. After all, he hasn’t seen you since he saved you from the bullies.’ 

Castiel wanted to roll his eyes, but that actually wasn’t a bad idea. Maybe he would. 

‘Only if you promise to keep your mouth shut. I don’t need your help in ruining my life. I do it just fine on my own, thank you.’ He squinted and Gabe laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. 

He really was a good brother. Just as Anna was a good mother, Chuck a good father. All three better than his biological family. He shuddered, pushing thoughts of them away. 

~~

Dean had agreed to come over, and when he told his mom, she looked so happy he thought she was going to burst with it. 

But then he was the one who was going to burst. And not from happiness. He was so nervous you’d think it was his wedding day. 

He couldn’t figure out what to wear, or what to cook. Because he wanted to cook the meal. Dean was his guest, he was going to be a good host. 

Also, should he style his hair?

He wiped his face, as if that would clear all of the nerves, and looked back through the closet. He wanted to look nice while also being comfortable. But not clothes that looked like he was on a date. Because this wasn’t a date. Right?

Shit, what if Dean thought it _was_ a date?

_Dean would have to be interested in you to think this was a date._ He reminded himself, looking back at the clothes and taking a deep breath. He could do this. Clothes would not get the best of him.

He decided on slim-fit khakis with a white V-neck and unbuttoned gray cardigan. He walked downstairs and was met with an approving whistle from Gabriel. 

“Damn, Cassie, I thought this wasn’t a date?” He asked, and Cas rolled his eyes. If Gabe wanted a response, he would have signed it. Not said it out loud. 

Anna smiled as he walked into the kitchen. “You look nice.” She smiled, kissing his forehead before going to the living room, presumably to warn Gabriel to behave. Cas smiled at the thought. 

He really went all out on the dinner. Filet mignon with rich balsamic glaze, garlic-parm zucchini sauté, and lemon-parmesan roasted potatoes. 

He had just gotten the potatoes out when the doorbell rang. Quickly throwing his apron and oven mitts to the side, he made his way to the front door, opening it with a slight blush. 

When he saw Dean, he licked his lips, eyes raking over his body. Dean was wearing a green lightweight crew neck sweater that stretched across his chest deliciously over black skinny jeans.

And then Dean was smiling. ‘Hey, Cas. It’s nice to see you again. I miss you.’ 

Cas would have smiled and said he felt the same before letting Dean in, but all he could do was gape. Because Dean didn’t say that. 

He signed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy Dean is just so pure


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going to try updating each Saturday. We'll see how long that lasts, though.

"You gonna let me in or what?" Dean teased from where he was leaning against the doorway, looking every sense of the word perfect. 

Castiel hurriedly nodded, a blush of embarrassment spreading up from his collar, causing his face to feel just a tad too hot. 

He stepped aside, eyes still wide from the shock of what he just witnessed. 

He heard a distinctive snort from behind him, presumably from Gabriel, and tried not to look down in shame. 

_ That was so humiliating. _ He thought with a small pout. 

Dean strode in as if he owned the place, an air of confidence encompassing him. He glanced around, taking in his surroundings, green eyes bright and intrigued. 

His eyes lingered on the nook under the stairs where a bookcase was pressed up against the wall with a beanbag chair next to it. Castiel's personal safe haven.

Gabriel cleared his throat from behind them, and Cas turned around, circumspect of his brother's intentions. 

"Mom's waiting in the dining-room. Are you going to come join us?" He asked with a smile pointed at Dean, and Cas didn't miss the way his eyes raked over every inch of the quarter-back. 

Castiel just nodded, hesitant to sign in front of Dean. The rational part of his brain knew that Dean learned to sign a greeting for him, but Cas never used it in front of him. 

Other kids at school thought it was weird when they witnessed him do it, and the last thing he wanted was to break Dean's interest in him. Because, frankly, Dean was the only friend he's ever had.

Gabriel gave him an indecipherable look but said nothing as he retreated back into the dining-room. 

All thoughts of Gabriel were pushed away when Dean turned to him with a beam that could rival the sun. 

"After you." He said, and Cas gave a private smile as he walked ahead of Dean. 

~~

Seated at the table, Castiel, once again, felt insecure about his muteness. 

Castiel was dumbfounded with how well Dean and Gabriel got along. He soon understood that they bonded over being older brothers. 

Cas saw that spark of pride in Dean's eyes as he talked about Sam. It made him smile down at his plate of food. The action caused him to miss the way Dean looked over at him fondly. 

"Anna, this food is amazing." Dean raved, and Cas looked up in time to see the older boy's wide smile. 

"As much as I appreciate that, Dean, Castiel cooked the entire meal." Anna was grinning, and Gabriel smirked over at his younger brother. 

Castiel swooned when Dean turned that blinding smile unto him. "I didn't know you could cook, Cas. I would love to come home every day to a meal like this." Dean didn't seem to realise how that sounded, but Cas was preening under the compliment. 

Gabriel was watching him with a knowing gaze, and he did his best to ignore him. 

It was then that the front door opened, and he heard the tell-tale sound of his father walking in and hanging up his coat. 

"Baby?" He called out, and Anna responded by getting up to go greet her husband. Cas couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be married to Dean. Would he use pet-names? Would he come home and kiss Cas? Would he want to come home? Would h-

His thoughts were cut short when Anna reemerged with Chuck by her side. 

Cas didn't notice the longing in his eyes until Dean nudged his foot with his own under the table, silently asking if he was okay. Castiel just gave a forced smile that most likely looked like a grimace. 

His thoughts quickly started to spiral downward from there. 

_ You'll never have that. Why would anyone love a freak like you?  _

He tried to push them away, turning to his plate with a small frown. He tried to lose himself in the food, hoping to turn off the mind. There wasn't a worse time for the memories that were sure to come. 

It, of course, didn't work. He gripped his fork with white knuckles, and he knew Gabriel recognized the signs of a flashback when he gently put a hand on his wrist. 

He could barely feel it, as if it was just a ghost of a memory. Ghost of a touch. He slipped further into the past, blocking everything else out. 

_ Castiel looked up with wide, teary blue eyes. "Daddy?" He asked in a small voice.  _

_ His father turned around sharply, eyes filled with anger. "What did I tell you about coming into my office?" He growled out, and Cas whimpered, taking a shaky step backwards.  _

_ "I-I was just looking for mommy..." He missed his mommy. He didn't know where she went, but she had been gone for a long time.  _

_ His father was suddenly there, slapping him hard. There was a burning sensation, and he brought a hand up to cover the bruise, the tears spilling over. "Stay out!" He yelled, and then he heard his mother's quick steps as she made her way up the stairs, calling for him.  _

_ When she came into the room, she immediately stepped in front of him, shielding her son from his father.  _

_ "I told you to keep him away from my office!" He shouted pushing her to the ground.  _

_ All Cas could think about as he watched his mom get beaten was that it was his fault. He's the reason mommy was hurting. _

Gabriel was immediately out of his chair and crouching next to his brother as tears silently slid down Cas' face.

"It's okay," He cooed, helping Castiel out of his chair. Gabriel could tell he was still disassociated from the present. 

He led a pliant Castiel upstairs, telling Dean to stay where he was when the other boy tried to follow them, asking if Cas was okay. 

Anna and Chuck were right alongside Gabe, and they got him to his bedroom, laying him in the bed. 

Gabriel left the three of them alone to go deal with Dean. 

The teen was pacing worriedly around the living-room, and Gabriel was glad someone as kind-hearted as Dean cared for his baby brother. 

"Is he okay?" Dean asked as soon as he noticed Gabriel approaching. 

Gabe nodded, offering a small smile. "He will be. You have to understand that Castiel has gone through a lot. I'm sure you know a person has to go through severe trauma to become mute. And while even I don't know the extent of it, I can tell you that I was there when mom and dad went to the local orphanage in search of another child. And we found Cas, beaten and scared. He may be good at making people think he's okay, but he's very fragile. And unless you're willing to stay with him through everything, then you should just leave." 

Dean looked both angry and heart-broken, face flickering between the two as if he couldn't decide which one he felt. 

"I'm not leaving," He finally determined, looking determined. "I don't want to leave. I don't care how much pain he's gone through. I want to be there. I want to help make it better. I want to help make him happy."

Gabriel smiled, feeling relieved. Castiel deserved friends. He was the most amazing person Gabe has ever met, and he's always wished somebody else saw that too. Dean obviously did. 

"If you want to stay, you can. I'm sure once Cas comes back to himself, he'll want to see him." Dean nodded his agreement, and Gabriel gave Dean one last smile. 

Yeah, with someone like Dean watching out for him, Cas was going to be just fine. Gabriel was sure of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was time to really get into Cas' PTSD and start diving into his past to learn why he's mute.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! I know! I said I'll have an update schedule then went MIA. Sorry, but I had absolutely no inspiration! But I'm back, hopefully, and I would love to know your thoughts!

Castiel's sense and logic started to come back soon after he was in his room, the comforting voice of his father and the soft touch of his mother pulling him back from the harsh grip of his memories. 

_It's Anna and Chuck, _he thought to himself, _they saved you. They won't let you get hurt. _

He repeated it like a mantra in his head until the bad thoughts went away completely and he was back in the present, wrapped in the arms of his mother. 

"Hey, Cas. It's okay," Chuck said softly when he saw the recognition in Cas' eyes. 

Cas nodded, sitting up slowly as he looked around. He was in the bedroom, Gabriel and Dean nowhere to be seen. 

Shit... Dean. Of course, he just _had_ to have a flashback in front of his only friend and crush.

'Is Dean still here?' He asked, trying to keep the hope at bay. It was better not to get them up. He's been disappointed enough times to know that by now. 

Chuck gave a soft nod, smiling at his son. "Downstairs, in the living room. He's waiting for you," 

Cas sat in the comforting embrace of his mother for a moment longer before getting up, Anna easily letting him go. 

'Thank you,' He smiled a bit, hugging the both of them before leaving to make his way downstairs. 

He felt a moment of panic when he saw Gabriel down there with Dean, but it calmed immediately, because while it was Gabriel's job as his big brother to embarrass him, he would never do that when Cas was in such a vulnerable state.

Dean noticed him first, and he automatically stood up, making his way over before stopping himself, clearly unsure if he could. 

Gabriel, however, just waltzed right on over, wrapping Cas up in a bear hug. 

'What do you need?' He asked as soon as he pulled back, and Castiel, once again, felt so lucky that this was his big brother. 

'The whiteboard and privacy with Dean, please.' Gabriel nodded, getting him the hand-held whiteboard and marker before going up the stairs. 

"Can I hug you?" Dean asked as soon as Gabriel was out of sight, and Cas nodded, trying to hide his excitement. This was their first hug, and while it most likely meant nothing to Dean, it meant everything to Cas.

When Dean wrapped him up in his strong arms, Castiel just melted against him, head on Dean's chest. He didn't even have enough brainpower left to realise he should probably wrap his arms around Dean, as that's how hugs worked. 

But he couldn't even begin to care when Dean just chuckled and held him even closer. 

Cas was so close all he could smell was Dean, and holy shit did he smell good. Mouth-watering good.

...

_Holy shit. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!!_

_I'm hugging Cas. Like, really hugging him. And he's resting his head against my chest and- did he just sniff me? God, I hope so. Do I smell good to him?_

If you couldn't tell, Dean was losing his mind. Because Cas, the boy he's been fantasizing about since the eighth grade, yeah, that Cas. You caught up yet? Well, that Cas is iN DEAN'S ARMS!

Okay, he really needed to calm down. Wait, how long have they been hugging? Okay, this was probably weird. He should really pull away... okay, just a few more seconds and then you have to stop. 

Dean guiltily let it go on for another minute, but then, with a heavy heart and more reluctance than he cared to admit, he pulled back, smiling fondly at his best friend.

...

Cas wanted to cry when Dean pulled away, wanted to stay in his arms forever. But Dean was probably creeped out as it is, so with an awkward cough, he pulled back as well, offering a shaky smile. 

"Are you feeling better?" Dean asked, and Cas nodded, quickly writing on the whiteboard. 

'Much better. But, I'm sorry you had to witness that...'

Cas shifted uncomfortably as Dean read the board, trying not to run and hide like his instincts were telling him. 

"There's no need to apologize, Cas. It's okay," Dean sounded so confident that Castiel wanted to believe him. But a lifetime of trust-issues told him otherwise.

He was so pathetic, couldn't even trust his best friend. 

His father's face flashed in his mind, but he forcefully pushed it away. He wasn't going to give in to the past again. Wasn't going to let that smug bastard win. 

_That dead smug bastard_.

Knees suddenly feeling weak, he sat down, hiding his smile when Dean automatically followed.

Erasing the board, he started to write again. 'It's embarrassing, freaking out like that in front of you. The kids at school are right. I'm a freak.'

Dean looked angry as he read the bored, and for a brief moment, Cas thought it was because Dean wasted his time on a freak. 

But then Dean's face softened as they made eye-contact, and Cas realised his insecurities were just weighing him down, poisoning his mind. 

"No, Cas. They aren't right. And if they just gave you a chance, they'll see what I see. A kind, smart, brilliant person who deserves the world." 

Cas blushed, looking at the floor. Did Dean really see that when he looked at Cas? How could anyone see anything besides a weird nerd?

'Do you really mean that?' 

Dean was nodding before his eyes even fully left the board. "Yeah, Cas. I meant that. You're an amazing person, and an amazing friend. You're the light in my school day. Speaking of which, when are you coming back?"

Cas bit his lip, cheeks crimson from the onslaught of compliments. It was even worse coming from Dean's soft voice, and he was once again brought back to his earlier thoughts. What would it be like to date Dean? Would he use pet-names? Cas wished he could find out.

'Monday. The doctor said I'm okay now, but mom and dad wanted to give it a few days.'

Dean nodded his understanding before smiling softly. "I've missed you a lot. The library is so boring and dull without you there." 

Dean was going to kill him if he kept it up with that fond voice and the kind words.

The conversation slowly drifted to other, less important things, and soon Dean had Cas laughing so hard, he forgot all about the pain of his past. 

Dean left around ten, sheepishly admitting he didn't realise it was that late and it was close to his curfew. 

Cas couldn't be too sad because he got another hug at the door, albeit shorter this time. 

Once it was just him there, leaning against the door, Dean long gone, he realised just how truly in love he was. 

Castiel Novak was screwed, and not in the way he wanted to be.


End file.
